SjayWanders

I’ve been writing since middle school — almost daily. My anger, happiness, love, sadness… I could pour them all onto a page in the only language that truly understood me: writing.

But back then, it was just for me.

My private space. My safe space. My mirror.

When I started this blog, I didn’t have a niche or an agenda. I wasn’t thinking about traffic or engagement. I just enjoyed the feeling of words unraveling on a page, untangling thoughts I couldn’t always speak out loud.

But after four posts, I tumbled into the recognition rabbit hole.

I started tracking numbers. Hoping for likes. Wondering if I’d “blow up overnight” and become the influencer I didn’t even know I was trying to be. It sounds silly, but that’s the power of social media — it gives you a window into possibility, and a measure of worth you didn’t ask for.

And when the views didn’t roll in, when the likes stayed quiet, my confidence shattered.

I spiraled.

I stopped.

Yesterday, I was sitting outside, soaking in my daily dose of vitamin D. The wind was so strong I felt like the universe sent it as a slap across my face — a literal wake-up call.

I’ve been writing for years with no audience, no recognition, and still loved it.

It was never about the numbers.

It was about making sense of my world, taming my demons, and giving my emotions a place to land.

So why was I now dying on a hill that didn’t even matter?

So here I am — not to promise perfection or predict success — but to say:

I’m coming back. I’m choosing consistency. I’m writing for me again.

And if even one person finds comfort, resonance, or peace in my words — that’s more than enough.